Denial or Hope?

I don’t want to try IVF.

Yet.

I am scared.

I woke up this past weekend telling my hubby this.

The act is so final to me.

It could be the beginning or the end.

And  I need to be ok with both outcomes before I attempt IVF- and I am just not there yet.

Am I wallowing in a state of denial? Am I delaying the inevitable?

I am just not ready to believe that IVF is the only way to have our baby.

Baby-Not babies?

Has too much time passed to have more than one?

Oh the thought hurts.

But that is where I am at now.. so much time has passed…

Three years in May.

Something has to give.

Going on week two of changing my diet.

Low carb with tons of vegetables and natural sources of protein.

I feel great-actually the best I have felt in a long while.

I had a fertility massage over the weekend to help energize my ovaries – doing all that I can to help my body do what it was designed to do and be the perfect environment for baby R to sprout and grow.

My fertile window is opening up today and my optimism for spontaneous conception is high once again.. here I go jumping on the roller coaster of hope once again.

I believe.