The Little Things in Life

smiley

How is it possible that I still become excited when I see that pretty little smiley face?

One would think after so many depressing failed cycles –that seeing a positive OPK would do nothing to lift my psyche.

But this is entirely not true!

Does anyone else in my shoes feel this wave of excitement upon seeing a positive OPK?

I think this temporary (but welcomed) brain fog must have something to do with my estrogen filled body or maybe due to the tiny endorphins flooding through me signaling that ovulation is near

Whatever the reason I am happy to be filled once more with hopeful possibilities of creating our love child and all because of a tiny little digital face smiling back at me

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Twenty Six

Time for an update on cycle number Twenty Six

 

I had my third IUI performed this past Monday. This time was a little different from the last two experiences. The usual doctor who had performed both my previous two IUI’s was not available. I had coined him the “mad scientist” or “crazy Dr. *Stu” as he somewhat resembled the doctor from the movie Knocked Up.

Yes. That one.

So this time I thankfully had a new person to get the job done. I had been praying I would have a new doctor; I needed new energy, healing hands, someone who I could feel like really cared about helping me get pregnant.

I knew instantly when she walked through the door my prayers were answered!

She was older than I had anticipated, with white hair and kind eyes. I knew she would have the healing touch. She took her time to ensure the placement of all the instruments they used were in place. She even went as far as reinserting a larger device, to ensure the “guys would get where they needed to”. Yes, this hurt a bit more and took longer than my other two IUI’s but I felt perfectly comfortable and at peace knowing that I was being take care of- This time I didn’t feel like I was taking up the doctors’ precious time with a tedious task of IUI, no, this time I felt really cared for. Incredible, really,  how the same procedure could produce such a different experience with the right energy.

The protocol after an IUI is that you stay laying down for at least ten minutes to make sure you don’t have an allergic reaction to the substance they use to clean the sperm sample.

I enjoy this time, because it gives me a moment to breathe, reflect, and relax. This time the instant that the doctor left the room, tears sprung to my eyes and rolled down my face and on to my chest. It was more of a release cry than anything else. It happened so suddenly.

It was short.

Unexpected.

But very much needed

There are so many emotions that you experience and carry with you leading up to this type of appointment. So it is only a given, that after the procedure is over your body automatically lets go of these emotions and produces tears as part of the release. Laying on the table felt so good, there I was in solace visualizing the sperm meeting the egg and knowing in my heart that we did all we could do for this cycle.

 

Today Fertility Friends charting software gave me my solid red lined crosshairs that confirm that I in fact ovulated on IUI day. Meaning that today I am officially 3dpo!

I’ll be emotionally stable for a few more days- maybe 5 or 6 and then I admit that I will  start psycho analyzing everything; my chart, the days we bd, my cm, my symptoms, my symptoms from last cycle and the cycle before that, and the cycle that I got my BFP, and the list goes on…but until then I can relish in the aftermath of our efforts and pray with all our hearts and soul that this cycle– we can proudly  say “twenty sixth time’s a charm.”

 

*Not name of actual Doctor