38 Weeks & Ready to Meet Our Son

birth love

How far along: 38 Weeks and 5 days

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Currently 138 pounds, up 33 pounds.

Maternity clothes: Oh yes, but mostly dresses in this 100 degree heat wave

Stretch marks: Remarkably no and praying I stay that way!

Sleep: Yes, I am sleeping all the time. Most of the time a nap or two a day plus at least 8-9 hours a night. Although the bathroom trips are becoming like clockwork every 2-3 hours during the night, preparing me for nightly feedings!

Best moment last week: Realizing that I am full term and can have this baby boy at any moment! He is currently head down and in perfect position for birth.

Movement: Baby boy is slowing down a bit, but still moving- and I have been ordered to do my kick counts at least once a day (10 movements during a 2 hour period) apparently the placenta can get old and movement is important as it tells us baby is receiving enough oxygen. ps: I love when he has hiccups!

Food cravings/Aversions: Watermelon, waffles with fresh berries, yogurt, coffee ice cream with Hershey’s syrup, ummm pretty much loving everything these days but the above mentioned are my favorites at the moment.

Mood/Energy: So very happy, a bit emotional at times but in a good sappy kind of way. Just reminiscing about the last 9 months and our journey to have this baby and realizing that hubby and I become a family of three any day. Energy- a bit tired especially because my iron has been low, don’t think I will get the big rush of energy before birth that everyone talks about!

Labor signs: No- still experiencing Braxton Hicks but nothing major.

Belly button: Out

What I miss: My hands and fingers working properly! I have had tingly  finger tips in my right hand for weeks now  and  haven’t been able to clench my fists, apparently I am experiencing a weird pregnancy related blood flow issue to my hands.

What I am looking forward to: Birth and meeting our son!

Milestones: Full Term Baby! We are ready.

(Me at 38 Weeks and 1 day)

photo (12)

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34 Weeks & Surrounded by Pink Peonies

peonie 1

How far along: 34 Weeks Today!

Total Weight Gain/Loss: At my appointment last week I weighed 132 lbs.

Maternity clothes: Yes and living in dresses at the moment.

Stretch marks: Not yet..and nearly out of my special belly oil.

Sleep: Oh yes and very deep sleep lately, still waking up to go to the bathroom, but finally able to sleep in past 6:00 am.

Best moment last week: My baby shower! Oh my goodness, it was a dream. Truly- my sister outdid herself!  I was not only  surrouned by friends and family who supported me during my struggle with infertility but also pink peonies (my very favorite flower) and everything was truly stunning, no detail was overlooked! This baby is already loved by so many and my heart warms at all of the love we received at the shower.

(Here are a few photos of the lovlieness and I am still enjoying the flowers as you can see!)

Shower Flowersk

hydrangea

Movement: All the time! And at my last prenatal appointment last week, I was told that baby is already head down and will probably stay that way until birth!

Food cravings/Aversions: Loving all food lately! Mostly fresh vegetables and fruit! Trying to up my protein intake and eating more eggs now that I have my kitchen back!

Mood/Energy: Slowing down and napping again. A few friends told me I would get a second energy burst towards the last few weeks, and boy am I going to need it as I need to not only get my little one’s nursery in order but my entire house!

Labor signs: No, but I did have a little scare last week and called my mom to ask her what labor felt like. I could barely walk and had so much pressure down “there” that I thought I was having contractions. I think I just needed rest and went to bed early and woke up feeling much better!

Belly Button : Stretched and odd looking.

What I miss: Nothing! Feeling content and savoring every last moment of being pregnant.

What I am looking forward to: Putting babys’ nursery and wardrobe together!

Milestones: 34 weeks today, taking the hospital tour, beginning birth classes…finally feeling like I can relax and really start nesting.

ps: my mini home remodel is officially complete! Turned out beautiful and will post pictures soon!

And last but not least, me at 34 weeks pregnant!

34 Weeks

27 Weeks and Mini Home Remodel, Getting Sick and Mother’s Day

Home Remodel: First off-who begins a mini home remodel project at 27 weeks pregnant? This girl! It all began with the idea of painting bedrooms and installing new flooring and quickly turned into changing and replacing windows, installing new countertops, and updating appliances in my kitchen. (Goodbye 90’s white tile and carpenter beige paint!) My timeline is to have everything completed by the middle of June and before my baby shower. Pinterest has officially become my best friend as of late and has helped me in so many ways with our project.

 

Inspiration kitchen photo number 1:

inspiration kitchen

 

Getting Sick: It finally happened. My worst fear during pregnancy- I got sick.

 

Last week after two days of a Maternal Wellness Seminar I attended for work, I knew I pushed myself too far. I was hoping the sneezing and constant eye watering was an indication of my allergies acting up, only to find myself in bed and on the couch for two straight days  with a nasty head cold. Luckily I am recuperating and beginning to feel myself again, but I was miserable there for a few days and being that I was pregnant I didn’t want to take any medications. I gave in and finally took two Tylenol for my aching head out of pure desperation. My take away now that I am on the mend: rest often and do not push yourself.

Mothers Day

 

Mothers Day 2014: So many different thoughts about this day. For years this has been by far my worst celebrated holiday of the year. Infertility will do that to you…even though I knew in my heart that I would be a mother one day (one way or another) this day always seemed to tear me up inside. This Mothers Day I celebrated with J and our friends and their two young boys and the day was such a blessing. Not only was J so very attentive to me and showering me with kisses and whatever I needed, but I welcomed for the first time, friends, family and perfect strangers wishing me a happy Mother’s Day as well. I realized that I will soon be called mom, momma, or mommy and this just fills my heart so. I’ve dreamt of this reality of motherhood for so very long and its close.

I wonder what kind of mother I will be? I think of my own mother and how I was raised. I believe I will be kind, patient, caring, affectionate, protective, humorous, gentle, and loving. My emotions were all over the map last week and I especially felt super weepy on Mother’s Day as I reflect on my journey up to this point.

Last year I laid on the couch all morning with the shades drawn shut- isolating myself from the world and even from my own mother… and only but one year later I am approaching my last trimester of pregnancy embracing the beautiful reality of finally becoming a mother.

My take away of this: No matter if you have a child or not, we are all mothers. We were born mothers in some capacity, and we express our motherly selves in a variety of ways. Acknowledging this is a must, especially for those of us who struggle the most with this celebrated day.

And my update…

How far along: 27 Weeks and 6 days

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 125.5 lbs-up a pound from last week.

Maternity clothes: Oh yes, pretty much wearing my maternity leggings or a dress on rotation. If you happen to see me more than once during the week, I’ll likely be in one of these two staple items. Stretch marks: Not yet.. But I am scared they are coming…Belly is growing so big!

Sleep: Being that I am typing this at 4:00 am, I have to admit that I have been waking up very early in the morning. However to my defense, I often go to bed by 9:00 and get in an hour or so nap during the afternoon if I can.

Best moment last week: Not being depressed and crying on Mother’s Day for the first time in years. Experiencing joy of becoming a mother to our miracle baby. Spending time with my hubby at one of our favorite places-Lake Tahoe.

Movement: Oh yes..Little one is super active at night and still his movement has been one of my very favorite moments of pregnancy.

Food cravings/Aversions: Oh boy… lets see this past week I have been wanting to eat everything! It seems like anytime someone mentions a food category, I suddenly crave whatever it may be. (English muffins with peanut butter have been another staple item)

Mood/Energy: For the most part I have maintained energy and can go for most of the day even with bouts of insomnia that I have been experiencing, although as I noted above, I pushed myself the week before and I suffered dearly for it by getting sick.

Labor signs: Not yet! Hoping we make it until August!

Belly button: Top part is beginning to push out some and last week every time I sneezed or coughed I thought it might rupture.

What I miss: Sleeping through the night.

What I am looking forward to: Slowing down with work, putting the nursery together, and beginning birthing classes.

Milestones: Thankful for getting through the second trimester without a hitch!

27 Weeks

25 & 26 Weeks and Baby is now the Size of a Head of Lettuce!

How far along: 26 Weeks and 6 days

LETTUCE

 

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 124.5 pounds (gained ½ a pound) and I am starting to not even recognize my own thighs and hips, they have taken on a life of their own.

Maternity clothes: Most always these days and a few of my maternity shirts are too small, didn’t even know that was possible.

Stretch marks: No new ones but my old ones are looking rather interesting these days. I’ve been slathering on coconut oil and my body has been soaking it up!

Sleep: Waking up to go the bathroom now, and having some trouble falling back to sleep. I have had a few mornings where I start my day at 4 or 5 am.

Best moment last week: Realizing how soon I will meet our little one! And registering for all of our baby necessities! Oh my- these babies need a lot!

Movement: All the time and this has been one of my most favorite experiences during pregnancy! Gives me an instant rush of happiness!

Food cravings/Aversions: No decaffeinated English breakfast tea for me please! Disagreed with my tummy and it was like first trimester all over again! Oh but during the same day, I needed to have a Beach Hut Deli sandwich with all the fixin’s including pickle, cream cheese, avocado, tomatoes etc.

Kind of looked like this:

beach hut

Mood/Energy: Afternoons are difficult for me, and I find myself getting very sleepy. Also was told by my Doctor after my most recent labs that my iron levels are low. To remedy I have been taking a liquid iron supplement, but haven’t noticed a rise with my energy yet.

Labor signs: No, but at my 26 week appointment my midwife went over all of the different ways to differentiate if I was going into early labor.

Belly button: S-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d!

What I miss: Hot Yoga & feeling my body stretch! 

What I am looking forward to: My first Mother’s Day of not being depressed, although I have a feeling I will be very emotional on this special day that I have avoided for so many years.

Milestones: Finally deciding and signing up for birthing classes..beginning Hypnobirthing classes in early June- so excited!

hypnobirthing

And for your viewing pleasure, photo taken at 26 weeks and 6 days

26

20 Weeks, Anatomy Scan &…. Surprise!

For as long as I can remember, I had always imagined my first born as a little girl. So naturally, when I became pregnant I immediately thought we were having a girl, as did my husband and our friends and even our family too! (Basically everyone) So when we pulled  our “potty shots” out of the gender reveal envelope after our anatomy scan and saw a little penis and the words boy written below the picture, our whole world expanded that much bigger! Yes, we were shocked- but in a completely amazing and refreshing way! Finding out the gender brings so much more to the picture of this pregnancy and allowed us to fully engage envisioning our future life as a new mother and father. Since finding out we are having a son, J and I are feeling even more blessed than normal and I even went out and bought my first baby purchase since finding out we were pregnant!

 first outfit

 How far along: 20 Weeks and baby is the size of a Banana

 Total Weight Gain/Loss: 120 lbs- up another pound!

Maternity clothes: Yes and the cool weather is back so loving my maternity leggings (which I’ll probably wear for the rest of my life…shhh!) and the bump is definitely out for all to see.

Stretch marks: Not yet- but guess what is showing up? A very light version of the linea nigra!

Sleep: Well… still sleeping deeply but have been uncomfortable and apparently moaning and making odd noises in my sleep- oh and I started using a fluffy pillow between my legs and love the extra support.

Best moment last week: Finding out the gender!

Movement: Oh yes.. our little one is a little wiggle worm and I love feeling his movement

(eek- I said “his”!)

Food cravings/Aversions: Nothing that I have to have, but really enjoying food right now. Still no marina sauce or garlic or onions please!

Mood/Energy: Feeling happy and energetic for the most part.. some days when I have round ligament pains I need to rest and put my feet up, but for the most part I am feeling really well.

Labor signs: Not yet!

Belly button: Still in

What I miss: Nothing!

What I am looking forward to: Designing my nursery and starting home projects that I have been dreaming up, let the nesting begin! Or should I say continue… lets face it I have been “nesting” for years!

Milestones: Finding out our little miracle- baby -love- child is a son and the halfway point of pregnancy!

 And this is what 20 weeks looks like!

20 weeks

19 Weeks and Baby is the size of a Mango!

mango

 

Just got back from a fantastic “girl weekend getaway” with my mom and sisters. We went to the desert (one of our favorite places) and ate delicious food, swam, enjoyed the sun and warmth, and had wonderful conversations. This was the first time that all of us have been together since I have been pregnant and it felt so nice to be able to talk about this miracle of life growing inside me and the future. Seeing their excitement and interest in and for the baby filled up my family love cup and reminded me of how much our baby is already loved so much!

 ___________________________________________

 

 

How far along: 19 Weeks- baby is the size of a mango

 

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Up another pound-so 119lbs!

Maternity clothes: Love my maternity clothes right now, but also able to wear a few dresses from last summer and officially showing off my bump.

Stretch marks: Not yet! Although just in case they are forming- I did splurge on a super yummy smelling belly oil made by Noodle & Boo- smells and feels amazing and I have been using it religiously!

noodle & boo


Sleep: I continue to sleep so deeply and wonderfully. I literally close my eyes at night and am fast asleep until morning.

Best moment last week: Seeing my baby move! He/She was so active one night last week, I pulled up my shirt and saw my belly move- I felt elated at the sight and was all smiles after that- Since then I have only “seen” baby move one other time.

Movement: Yes- very active baby- (see above)

Food cravings/Aversions: Pretty much loving all food right now. Still not liking garlic, onions, marinara, and now pure chocolate. Fruit and orange juice are a must!

Mood/Energy: Feeling wonderful! I get a little tired in the afternoons- but usually can fight through the sleepiness if I am unable to take a nap.

Labor signs: No

Belly button: In!


What I miss: Nothing- everything is perfect.

What I am looking forward to: Our anatomy scan scheduled tomorrow! Oh my goodness.. I am nervous and excited at the same time! We are going to have the ultrasound tech put the gender in an envelope and then open it at lunch afterwards. My hubby tried to tell me that we should wait until date night Friday night-but I put my foot down and said that we had waited long enough-don’t you think?

Milestones: Seeing baby move! My sister got to see too!  Now just need my hubby to see/feel baby.

Bump Pic:   ps: I’m bravely posting this…19 weeks 1

Pregnancy after Infertility and Loss

miracle quote

Tomorrow I go in for my first ultra sound appointment to take measurements, hopefully listen to a heartbeat (S), and lastly to see how many babies I have growing inside me.

 

I feel like I have one; hubby says two.

 

The first ultrasound I had with my last pregnancy (three years ago) was when everything turned upside-down. I went in around the same time at 6 weeks; only to be told that I was measuring behind at 4 weeks and 5 days. Plus I was spotting.  I know- I know. Different pregnancy and experience, but I can’t help but think back to that fateful appointment and feel anxious about our appointment tomorrow.

 

These past two weeks have been amazing… yet my emotions are changing constantly and I go from excited to nervous to anxious to joyful and back around again.

 

One thing we are doing differently from our last pregnancy is that we are telling our families. I was able to tell my dad this past weekend and we were both choked up with emotion afterwards. He told me that my special news was the best news that he had heard in years. Makes me smile thinking about his words. Our last pregnancy I didn’t tell him until after I miscarried and I regretted not doing so every since. I still need to tell my two brothers, but most everyone else in my family including my in laws know of our pregnancy. It feels so very nice to tell those who care for us the most that we are pregnant..although of course I kept our struggle mostly private; all who know me well knew of our infertility struggles and my very strong desire to be a mother.

 

Pregnancy after infertility and loss is hard, as I knew it would be. I feel as if I have this underlying cautionary feeling as if this blessing could  get ripped out from under me at any given moment. I awake in the morning and I immediately put my hands on my abdomen and thank the Lord for another day of being pregnant.

 

This is why I have decided to continue to blog about my experience; not only does writing help me process my emotions, but I want to record my experience of being pregnant after loss and infertility especially since I plan to help others going through similar paths once I graduate and begin my internship as a therapist.

 

Speaking of school, currently I am wrapping up another term and I have been feverishly writing paper after paper and am so very much looking forward to my two week break over Christmas. Also, in-between paper writing, discussion boards, and presentations, I did find some time to spread Christmas cheer throughout our home and even had the energy to put up not one- but two Christmas trees this year! Oh and J agreed to putting up lights on our house, which I absolutely love.

vintage-christmas-picture

 

Looking forward to a new and much better experience with Dr. S tomorrow and will report back to let you all know our update.