September: Month of Harvest


I know I know.. I’ve been quiet these past few weeks.

I’ve been processing all that is to come and all that is happening and have felt the need for peace and quiet. I even deleted my Facebook App on my phone, so I could truly be alone in my thoughts with little to no distractions.

Since my last post, another cycle has begun and I found myself drifting into a hibernating mode- a self protection coping mechanism I tend to develop the first week or so of a new cycle. I let myself feel the sadness of another failed cycle and do my best to mentally prepare for what’s to come.

Honestly, for the past few weeks I haven’t felt like doing anything-I haven’t grocery shopped in weeks; instead my dh has been picking up the necessities as my love for cooking has temporarily halted, I’ve recently abandoned my summer garden, and my writing has, well you know, virtually stopped.

But suddenly I have this burst of energy; I want to cook, clean, organize, work in the garden and write to my hearts desire.

So first a well deserved quick update on the latest and greatest and where I am at with my IVF cycle.


• Five years! My DH, J (will begin referring to him like this for now) and I celebrated our five year wedding anniversary a few weekends ago. We spent 24 hours in beautiful Tahoe celebrating us- JUST US- and I truly felt like the luckiest woman in the world. We reminisced about every place we have celebrated our past wedding anniversaries from Sedona Arizona to a beach house in Bodega Bay and decided that we have a pretty darn good life.
• This past school term officially marked the half way point of my Marriage Family Therapy graduate program and I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel
• On top of being overly busy with graduate school work- my day job has been keeping me on my toes as well~ Real Estate has quickly picked up again and I am graciously accepting the rush of clients while trying my hardest to remain as stress free as possible (Both Dr. S and J’s orders)
• J and I completed all of our pre-IVF blood work earlier this week and I am awaiting the results of the fragile X syndrome test (praying all is ok) and also await our “IVF calendar”
• Still avoiding the needles: and in reality the closest we have gotten to “practice” is buying an orange –it sits in our fruit basket taunting us daily…
• Last Saturday I both volunteered and participated in Resolves’ Northern California’s “Walk of Hope” and found out that we raised $57,000!
• Made my first three acupuncture appointments beginning next week, and planning on continuing through transfer day and throughout the first 12 weeks of pregnancy
• Meanwhile my ‘Fertile” time has opened up again and we are embracing our last go at baby making el natural
• In two weeks or so we will find out if our last “go” resulted in pregnancy or if we will begin our IVF cycle as planned mid October

Feeling really grounded these days,

surrendering to all that is,

and allowing for all that is meant to be…to be.



Updated – The List

Ok. So it has been about two weeks since my original post about my “List” of things to do before the end of summer. (Just can’t seem to get away from this two-week theme) Anyhow, I am feeling really good today. Centered. Clear. Positive. A good day for an update of my list and  I am happy to announce that I have completed and/ or started well over half of the items.  For me this is quite an accomplishment, as this time last year, it would have been a miracle for me to have completed even one of these items. Happy and thankful to say,  that I have come a long way baby!


1) Start up yoga again

Update: Started up two weeks ago and absolutely loving every class. Each yoga session offers me a chance to experience an open-eyed meditation and visualize love, life, and light in and around me. 

 2) Finish reading 50 shades of Grey

Update: Finally! I finished this book, not sure why, but the end of the book kept dragging on.. think I’ll wait on the other two for now. May be  a little bit 50 Shades out at the moment.

3) And maybe complete the trilogy

Update: see above

4)  Start mini makeover in my hall bathroom

Update:  I have only pulled out 3 drawers in my bathroom vanity, and still need to unscrew the cabinets and start the sanding, priming, and painting. But I started!

5) J heart S (special time with my hubby- LOTS!)

Update: This ones’ easy. Yes, we have had lots of this… feel very connected to my DH right now. Feels oh so nice!

6) Continue blogging

Update: Two more posts since writing  “The List” more to come!

7) Learn how to make homemade Salsa with my veggies from my garden

Update: Made two batches of the most delicious salsa, could only use fresh cilantro and jalapeno from my garden, as the tomatoes are still green. But salsa turned out delish!

8) Girls Napa Trip

Update: Leaving in 3 1/2 days. Really looking forward to some girlfriend bonding time.

9) Attend a local Resolve Meeting

Update: Did not make meeting, had a required “date night” with hubby, but am corresponding with other members online, which feels so wonderful to belong to a local group of women going through the same infertility journey as me. It’s crazy how you start to bond with women whom you’ve never met, but support one another just the same.

10) Master Instagram

Update: still on my “to do” list

11) Go to a Giants baseball game

Update: still waiting on this one!

12) Close my last escrow that I have been working on since January

Update: CLOSED!!! Yahooo- this was the single hardest escrow I have ever worked on, and now my client is a happy new homeowner of two houses on 20 beautiful acres!

14) Land an amazing new job!

Update: Not yet.  Thinking I will change this to “land an interview” or even “land a return email or phone call. ” I knew the job market was tough, but I am finding that even getting one foot in the door seems to be a challenge . Argggg

and lastly

15) Plan an overnight camping trip with my DH and our two little dogs

Update: My dad is actually planning a late August camping trip, so most likely we will go up for one night! Fun! And I got out of the planning part! Campfire stories and Smores- here we come!