39 Weeks & Nursery Reveal

3 So today I am officially 39 weeks and 6 days.

I have this surreal feeling that I cannot describe, almost as if I have taken a valium and am completely calm and relaxed permanently.

I keep visualizing my labor and birth and meeting baby R for the first time.

I have been waiting for this for so very long and my everything waits in lovely anticipation. Every kick and movement I feel brings me so much love and makes me feel closer to my son. This last part of pregnancy has been amazing and I feel so connected to my husband and everything just feels right.

Not going to do my usual update this week and instead will reveal our nursery, I feel the room turned out perfect and has a little mix of old and new that will be a very special place for our son. Hard to believe that this empty room that I used to lay on the floor and cry in mourning is now my dream nursery where I can nurse, love, sing to, and soothe my baby boy.

Dreams do come true.


Will post again after my 40 Week appointment with the midwife unless baby makes his debut first!



36 Weeks and Packing the Hospital Bag!


How far along: 36 Weeks and 3 days

 Total Weight Gain/Loss: Current weight 137 lbs, officially up 32 pounds!

Maternity clothes: Most of the time yes, and wearing dresses nearly every day!

Stretch marks: Not yet.. the nurse even commented at my last appointment her surprise that I don’t have any yet…I told her it’s a blessing as I still have stretch mark scars from puberty.

Sleep: Oh yes! Naps are a once or twice daily occurrence for me. The exhaustion sweeps over me like a tidal wave and I can’t keep my eyes open. After a nap I feel like a million dollars!

Best moment last week: 4th of July with my siblings! This year all five of my amazing brothers and sisters were together in my home and I had the most wonderful day! It is rare for us all to get together and now my home is filled with special memories I will cherish forever.

Movement: Yes! Baby boy has been moving like crazy- especially at night, my bump looks so strange when he is moving and I always stare in awe and amazement.

Food cravings/Aversions: Still loving food, specifically fresh well made food. Fruit has been a huge part of my diet lately, along with fresh tomatoes from my garden. 3 varieties so far! Yummm!


 Mood/Energy: Mood has been wonderful as I near the end of this pregnancy, a little emotional here and there just thinking about our infertility journey that has brought us to this point. Two summers ago was when I started this blog, a saving grace to the isolation and depression I was experiencing. And  just last summer we were consulting with our doctor and making the big  decision about pursuing IVF and here I sit a year later writing about my 36th week of pregnancy. Feeling so full and blessed and enjoying every precious moment left of this pregnancy.

 Labor signs: Well let’s just say that earlier this week I spent one whole day on the couch due to major pressure down low and even started to pack my hospital bag (just in case) …thankfully, according to the MD I saw at my appointment two days later, after said “pressure”,  I am experiencing something called lightening and this  is completely normal during this stage of pregnancy. Baby is getting ready! 

 Oh and Still measuring on schedule, blood pressure is normal, and baby is head down. Yay!

Belly button: Starting to pop!

What I miss: Nada

What I am looking forward to: Meeting our son.

Milestones: 36 weeks! And getting the strep B test done… Ouchy & why didn’t anyone forewarn me?

 And lastly a bump picture taken at 36 weeks 1 day:

36 weeks

Milestones & 12 Weeks!

I hit the “magical” 12 week milestone yesterday of pregnancy. What is it with this 12 week mark that makes you feel like you’ve made it over a huge hump?

And speaking of milestones here are some other recent ones to share:

  • I “graduated” from weekly acupuncture appointments to once monthly
  • I officially can no longer button my favorite skinny AG jeans
  • I am being treated as a normal pregnant woman at my OBGYN’s office as everything is progressing well- I haven’t been considered  “normal” at a doctors office in nearly three years!
  • I haven’t thrown up in two days! Could nausea actually be disappearing for good?
  • No more Progesterone shots or Estrace pills!
  • And I actually allowed myself to start looking online at nursery furniture and bedding the other morning and fell in love with this new ruffle bedding from Pottery Barn- adorable right?

ruffle bedding 2

At this time I am just trying to enjoy every moment of my pregnancy, besides the anxiousness that arises every now and then, it’s actually been very easy for me. As I truly love being pregnant and I already feel like it is going by way too fast! I mean 12 weeks already? I’ll be in the second trimester in a blink with even more milestones to list.

Days like this I truly realize how lucky I am to be pregnant given my DOR diagnoses and low odds of conception. I fought going the IVF route for so long and feel so very thankful that we took the leap of faith when we did. It’s scary, as there is so much that is unknown until you actually go through the process and know how your body is going to respond.

I thank the Lord every morning when I wake up and feel my growing belly or see how happy my husband is- knowing that we are finally having our love child.  Lately, I have moments that I just want to wrap up and keep in my heart forever.

These are truly some of the best days of my life.


Feeling Thankful & Blessed Beyond Belief



Oh my goodness! We are pregnant! Praise God!

I called in earlier this afternoon for my beta results and the first thing the nurse said was ‘Congratulations’!

Beta number one (10dp3dt) is 209 and beta number two (12dp3dt)  is 422.

Feeling so happy and blessed and full of joy.

The last few days have been very tough on me as I have been a complete emotional wreck and I even had a few breakdowns of  crying fits; which is not like me at all.

I’ve been waiting for today’s news for years and the words “you are pregnant” feels surreal and as if a huge rock has been lifted from my soul.

Oh and before my emotional breakdown that started on Sunday, I wrote a journal entry last week that I wanted to share… maybe I did know I was pregnant?



I feel the presence of our little one already.

 I know we are together at last.

 My little one came back to us as I knew they would.

 Three years ago, this very cycle, I got my BFP, but miscarried at 9.5 weeks. After struggling many months years with infertility we embraced IVF as our next step.

 Fast forward to a little over 10 days ago, on November 12, I went in for my egg retrieval (ovulation day in IVF terms) and three days later transferred two beautiful embryos.

 Although this cycle mirrors my previous BFP cycle, I know in my heart of hearts that this one will result in our beautiful healthy take home baby R.

 The one in my dreams, the one I have thought about since I was eighteen years old. Her rosy cheeks and big brown eyes.

 Feeling blessed beyond belief.


So for now I will continue to stay in the present and enjoy this pregnancy and try and stay as positive as possible, for J, for me and for our little one who is snuggling in for the long haul…

Oh and a very special ‘thank you’ to everyone for your continued encouraging words and prayers.. they mean so very much to me and more than you’ll ever know!

Will Power and 9dp3dt

always believe that something

Three full days left until we find out if our IVF cycle helped create our little one.

Our little one that I have dreamt about for as long as I can remember…

According to this website, I am at the stage past transfer (9dp3dt) that implantation is now complete and fetal development continues and HCG continues to be secreted.

Wow. This makes me feel all warm and bubbly inside.

And even though technically I could take a home pregnancy test; J and I have agreed to not test before we hear the results of our second beta.

Yes, I wrote that correctly my second beta.

My clinic is extremely conservative and has their patients take two betas within 48 hours of each other and only after the second beta is complete do they call with the results.

Although this seems like slow torture, I can understand this strategy as it’s the doubling time that truly counts, but oh my goodness my will power is being tested for sure.

At the moment I feel rather normal and am contributing a few of my “symptoms”

(increased appetite, increased tiredness, irritability, sensitive body, and tender breasts)

to the lovely progesterone in oil that I am taking every night.

Oh and I had an odd pinching pain in my lower middle abdomen yesterday afternoon that lasted about ten seconds and literally took my breath away -progesterone right?

Even Dr. S told me right after my transfer not to expect any symptoms during the wait as it’s simply too early yet.

Oh that progesterone –why do you give the same symptoms of PMS and Pregnancy and at the very same time?

So that is my ‘nearing the end of this 1 ½ week wait after transfer update’ and my next post will either be really amazing and joyful and full of blessings or the “other” which I won’t even let my mind wander to at the moment.

Continuing to stay in the present, feeling this working, and awaiting for confirmation of our miracle.


Egg Retrieval Day

while anemones
(White Anemones: Hope, Anticipation, Expectation)

Wonderful news! My egg retrieval went off without a hitch and with no complications.

I felt prepared and relaxed on my way to our early morning appointment and my hubby and I even listened to Howard Stern to take my mind off things. We figured a little laughter before surgery would be a good thing.

When I arrived I was the only one in the waiting room and they swiftly brought me back to the surgery room where I was instructed to get undressed and put on a gown that was about three sizes too big for me. My hubby walked in shortly thereafter and had a premonition that I was pregnant- let’s take that as a sign! I then snuggled into a warm bed with a heating blanket to rest before going into the operating room.

This felt wonderful.

Until the insertion of the IV began…Ugh.

After the nurse struggled with my IV for what seemed like ten minutes, she finally called over the anesthesiologist who thankfully came to my rescue and took over. He was successful within minutes and told me I was ready for my “very strong mimosa” and it was officially go time.

I kissed my hubby for good luck and walked into the operating room. I quickly hoisted myself up on the bed and slipped my feet into position.

One minute I was leaning back on the bed and the next I was out cold.

Then what seemed like minutes later I was sitting in a recovery bed and talking with the sweet nurse who had been by my side all morning long. And that’s when I finally got my number.



Now, to most IVF’ers that number is low, and I get that, but to me..The number is not only more than we were hoping for, but 8 is a magical and strong number in itself, so to me that number is exactly what we needed.

Soon thereafter Dr. S was by my side talking to me about how well everything went, how pleasantly surprised he was that he retrieved 8 eggs when Sunday he was thinking he would only obtain 4 or 5.

We of course don’t know how mature the 8 eggs are as of yet, but tomorrow (hopefully morning) we will find out our fertilization report.

Oh and depending on how things go…he may be opting for a 5 day transfer instead of a 3 day transfer as previously planned.

So… off to continue to rest on my couch with my super cuddly lap doggies who have given me nothing but love all day.

Praying our little one is in the making and will be safely inside me soon enough.

Stim Check Number Three & Four &… Trigger!

peonie 2

The good news is that we are moving forward with egg retrieval tomorrow November 12. Stim check number three (Fridays’ appointment) warranted that I extend stimming for two additional days as my follicles were still taking their sweet time growing.

Yesterdays stim check revealed that I had a few close to mature follicles and a few that were lagging behind and was instructed to triggered last night, which I promptly completed at 8:00 pm.

Not really sure about exact measurements of my follicles but as of yesterday a rough estimate is:

Right ovary: 6 follicles two 18 mm, one 17 mm, and the others smaller
Left ovary: 2 follicles one 18 mm, and the other smaller

Dr. S wanted to see my follicles a little more mature by this stage, but did not want to stimm me any further as he said that he would rather have slightly immature eggs verses over mature eggs.

Makes sense to me.

He said that my uterine lining looked (get ready for this)… “Beautiful”. His comment made me feel so good (it’s the little things that make you feel good during all of this craziness) and he told me that all my E2 levels were right on track.

So honestly, at this point of my IVF journey, I am feeling pretty serene, calm and relaxed. I am ready for my egg retrieval and am taking it extra easy today. I even decided to make a big batch of chicken enchiladas so that I have some comfort food tonight and tomorrow for after retrieval.

Continuing to pray and trust in God’s plan and surrounding myself in my protective bubble full of grace and faith.

Until tomorrow…