A Mamma at Last

Our beautiful baby boy was born Tuesday evening at exactly 42 weeks!

I endured a long and slow labor but was able to birth him naturally in the birthing tub and with no complications.

Each moment with him is a dream and being a mom is truly like no other feeling I have ever felt before.

His little sweet face and beautiful blue eyes fill my heart with love and joy and peace like I have never experienced.

Our miracle is in our arms just like I have always envisioned!

We are figuring out life with this new little soul but promise to post our beautiful birth story soon!

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39 Weeks & Nursery Reveal

3 So today I am officially 39 weeks and 6 days.

I have this surreal feeling that I cannot describe, almost as if I have taken a valium and am completely calm and relaxed permanently.

I keep visualizing my labor and birth and meeting baby R for the first time.

I have been waiting for this for so very long and my everything waits in lovely anticipation. Every kick and movement I feel brings me so much love and makes me feel closer to my son. This last part of pregnancy has been amazing and I feel so connected to my husband and everything just feels right.

Not going to do my usual update this week and instead will reveal our nursery, I feel the room turned out perfect and has a little mix of old and new that will be a very special place for our son. Hard to believe that this empty room that I used to lay on the floor and cry in mourning is now my dream nursery where I can nurse, love, sing to, and soothe my baby boy.

Dreams do come true.

Enjoy!12541071189

Will post again after my 40 Week appointment with the midwife unless baby makes his debut first!

 

27 Weeks and Mini Home Remodel, Getting Sick and Mother’s Day

Home Remodel: First off-who begins a mini home remodel project at 27 weeks pregnant? This girl! It all began with the idea of painting bedrooms and installing new flooring and quickly turned into changing and replacing windows, installing new countertops, and updating appliances in my kitchen. (Goodbye 90’s white tile and carpenter beige paint!) My timeline is to have everything completed by the middle of June and before my baby shower. Pinterest has officially become my best friend as of late and has helped me in so many ways with our project.

 

Inspiration kitchen photo number 1:

inspiration kitchen

 

Getting Sick: It finally happened. My worst fear during pregnancy- I got sick.

 

Last week after two days of a Maternal Wellness Seminar I attended for work, I knew I pushed myself too far. I was hoping the sneezing and constant eye watering was an indication of my allergies acting up, only to find myself in bed and on the couch for two straight days  with a nasty head cold. Luckily I am recuperating and beginning to feel myself again, but I was miserable there for a few days and being that I was pregnant I didn’t want to take any medications. I gave in and finally took two Tylenol for my aching head out of pure desperation. My take away now that I am on the mend: rest often and do not push yourself.

Mothers Day

 

Mothers Day 2014: So many different thoughts about this day. For years this has been by far my worst celebrated holiday of the year. Infertility will do that to you…even though I knew in my heart that I would be a mother one day (one way or another) this day always seemed to tear me up inside. This Mothers Day I celebrated with J and our friends and their two young boys and the day was such a blessing. Not only was J so very attentive to me and showering me with kisses and whatever I needed, but I welcomed for the first time, friends, family and perfect strangers wishing me a happy Mother’s Day as well. I realized that I will soon be called mom, momma, or mommy and this just fills my heart so. I’ve dreamt of this reality of motherhood for so very long and its close.

I wonder what kind of mother I will be? I think of my own mother and how I was raised. I believe I will be kind, patient, caring, affectionate, protective, humorous, gentle, and loving. My emotions were all over the map last week and I especially felt super weepy on Mother’s Day as I reflect on my journey up to this point.

Last year I laid on the couch all morning with the shades drawn shut- isolating myself from the world and even from my own mother… and only but one year later I am approaching my last trimester of pregnancy embracing the beautiful reality of finally becoming a mother.

My take away of this: No matter if you have a child or not, we are all mothers. We were born mothers in some capacity, and we express our motherly selves in a variety of ways. Acknowledging this is a must, especially for those of us who struggle the most with this celebrated day.

And my update…

How far along: 27 Weeks and 6 days

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 125.5 lbs-up a pound from last week.

Maternity clothes: Oh yes, pretty much wearing my maternity leggings or a dress on rotation. If you happen to see me more than once during the week, I’ll likely be in one of these two staple items. Stretch marks: Not yet.. But I am scared they are coming…Belly is growing so big!

Sleep: Being that I am typing this at 4:00 am, I have to admit that I have been waking up very early in the morning. However to my defense, I often go to bed by 9:00 and get in an hour or so nap during the afternoon if I can.

Best moment last week: Not being depressed and crying on Mother’s Day for the first time in years. Experiencing joy of becoming a mother to our miracle baby. Spending time with my hubby at one of our favorite places-Lake Tahoe.

Movement: Oh yes..Little one is super active at night and still his movement has been one of my very favorite moments of pregnancy.

Food cravings/Aversions: Oh boy… lets see this past week I have been wanting to eat everything! It seems like anytime someone mentions a food category, I suddenly crave whatever it may be. (English muffins with peanut butter have been another staple item)

Mood/Energy: For the most part I have maintained energy and can go for most of the day even with bouts of insomnia that I have been experiencing, although as I noted above, I pushed myself the week before and I suffered dearly for it by getting sick.

Labor signs: Not yet! Hoping we make it until August!

Belly button: Top part is beginning to push out some and last week every time I sneezed or coughed I thought it might rupture.

What I miss: Sleeping through the night.

What I am looking forward to: Slowing down with work, putting the nursery together, and beginning birthing classes.

Milestones: Thankful for getting through the second trimester without a hitch!

27 Weeks

24 Weeks and Reflection

This past week has been a pretty big week for me both emotionally and physically.

 First off the 24 week mark means viability and the milestone point of pregnancy that infertiles’ crave the most.

 When this special day came for me I celebrated in joy and also reflected on my journey thus far.

 I began by reading past journal excerpts of the countless tear filled days leading up to conception of baby R. There were days that felt lower than low, mornings I could not get out of bed, crying fits in my car after having to interact with a random pregnant women and her darling toddler in a store or after reading about another pregnancy announcement on Facebook. Days when I did not know how I would continue to put one foot in front of the other while trying to navigate my childless world. Yes, my faith was tested, my personal resilience pushed to the max, but after reflecting I knew it was all worth it to be able to finally be a momma-to be.

 And oh how my world has changed.

 These reflections have created another surge of gratefulness within me that I cannot describe. At times I feel as if I need to pinch myself as a reminder that this is really happening to me! Just yesterday I was getting a few dresses altered and while waiting for the seamstress to come into my dressing room, I took the opportunity to simply look at myself. And I mean really look and stare at myself in the full length mirror and take in my reality. I studied my whole body from top to bottom side to back and settled back on my growing belly. I was amazed at how beautiful I both looked and felt carrying our miracle child and  for finally being at place that I had longed- for, for so very long, and feeling thankful and blessed beyond measure.

 Truly, I am enjoying pregnancy just as I always knew I would.

_____________________________________________________

 

 How far along: 24 Weeks (VIABILITY) and baby is the size of a cantaloupe!

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 124 lbs- up another pound!

Maternity clothes: Yes, but still able to wear some non maternity clothes as well!

Stretch marks: Not yet… but lots of blue veins all over my belly.

Sleep: Better! I think my hips stopped stretching because sleep has been wonderful again.

Best moment last week: Reaching viability- the big milestone and passing my glucose test! By the way, the worst part of my glucose test wasn’t drinking the juice which wasn’t half bad, but having to wait an hour in a crowded waiting room with someone who smelled like oniony body odor. Uggg-  Another wonderful moment and one that keeps happening is when J puts his hands on my belly and talks to baby. It’s the sweetest thing!

Movement: Yes, all the time and brings a smile to face instantly. First thing I do when I wake up now is try and make baby move, once I feel him move I can start my day!

Oh when do I need to start doing kick counts?

Food cravings/Aversions: Lately I’ve been loving oatmeal with bananas, walnuts, and milk for breakfast and maybe because of Easter, egg salad with crunchy celery and hotdog relish has been a lunch staple this past week. Aversions- still not a big fan of Italian food; marinara sauce and garlic.

Mood/Energy: Still emotional! Energy has been ok- although one of my test results came back that I am low on Iron and my doctor wants me on an iron supplement. Alternatively, I am taking Floradix (a liquid supplement) so that I don’t have to deal with bathroom issues- praying it works!

Labor signs: Nada!

Belly Button: Stretched

What I miss: Nothing and the days need to slow down already!

What I am looking forward to: My checkup next week and getting my baby shower announcements out!

Milestones: 24 weeks baby! oh and the glucose test over with!

Bump Picture and my “Lately”:

Bump 25sophieGlucose Juicepaint color

24 weeks

Sophie- a gift from a dear friend- doesn’t she look so happy?

My orange glucose drink

and picking out paint colors for my bedroom and nursery!

21-23 Weeks Pregnant and Time S-L-O-W Down!

grapefruit

How far along: 23 weeks and baby was the size of a pomegranate and is now is the size of a grapefruit.

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 123 pounds- up 3 lbs from 3 weeks ago.

Maternity clothes: Oh yes, feeling large and in charge these days. Maternity shirts and pants are my friend. Oh and still trying to sport a few non-maternity dresses for as long as I can.

Stretch marks: Not yet…and religiously dowsing myself with elasticity oil and lotion daily.

Sleep: Hmmm ok- the good sleeping days are officially over. Tossing and turning, moaning, and now waking up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I just keep telling myself that I am preparing my body and mind for a newborn and that makes everything ok.

Best moment last week: Finally deciding on a crib! Didn’t realize what a difficult decision this would be for me. Too bad it’s on backorder until June 1.

Movement: Oh yes-all the time.. and I love it! I must admit, when I don’t feel movement for an hour or so I start to panic a bit and will try and get him to move by placing my hands on my belly – is that bad?

Food cravings/Aversions: Still not a fan of garlic and onions, but I can eat them now without feeling sick. I was on a Cheerios and banana kick for a while, and lately just needing ice water all the time.

Mood/Energy: So far so good, not needing to nap, but on the weekends I have been indulging if I have time. I worked in my garden last weekend and the physical activity kicked my butt! Oh and I have been super emotional these days, I cried at a Masters commercial that aired on TV last weekend -really?

Labor signs: Nope- but some days I have round ligament pains and oh boy do they hurt.

Belly Button: Not sure what is going on with it- seems to be stretching, but not popping out yet.

What I miss: Nothing yet..

What I am looking forward to: Getting the glucose test over with-so much hype surrounding this event. Oh & painting the nursery! I’ll be sure to include some before and after pictures- so much fun!

And this was taken at 23 weeks:

23 weeks

 

18 Weeks and Happy as a Clam!

happy

 

What a wonderful week- feeling so happy and content right now.

Really enjoying this pregnancy and feeling like myself again!

 

How far along: 18 weeks and baby is the size of a sweet potato

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Up one pound from last week so 118lbs!

Maternity clothes: Yes and they are my savior. I don’t like anything up over my belly so everything has to sit low underneath to feel comfortable. I wore my first dress last week and it was heaven on earth!

Stretch marks: Not yet! But I check for them daily.

Sleep: Sleeping so deeply these days and not even waking up to go to the bathroom during the night. Fell asleep on the couch this week which hasn’t happened in a very long time!

Best moment last week: Dropping the three additional classes that I added to my school schedule and feeling my stress level drop instantaneously! Oh and finally choosing where I am going to deliver our baby after a recent change in our insurance.

Movement: Oh yes! Especially at night and this is becoming my most favorite thing about pregnancy.

Food cravings/Aversions: This week it’s.. I don’t even want to write this… Nathans’ Hot Dogs. I cannot believe I actually made this for dinner Friday night and yet they were soooooo tasty!

Mood/Energy: Feeling great these days especially since I made the decision to drop the extra classes- I can see the light at the end of the tunnel of graduate school and this makes me extra happy. Energy is decreasing, and I feel wiped out  after any outing especially after seeing multiple clients during the day. Yesterday I could only work in my yard for a few hours before having to go inside and lie down on the couch for a rest.

Labor signs: NADA

Belly Button :  In!

What I miss: My stamina!

What I am looking forward to: My twenty week appointment and gender scan at the end of the month. Although I am calling my new Doctor’s office every other day to see if I can be seen sooner on a cancellation.

Milestones: Finally feeling comfortable telling other people I am pregnant and not wanting to hide my bump. Oh and I attended  my first prenatal yoga class-no it wasn’t my usual hot yoga, sweat dripping, heart pounding  class that I’m used to, but the prenatal class felt perfect for my needs and I even met someone who has the exact same due date as me!

Oh And for your viewing pleasure- this picture was taken at 18 weeks 5 days:

18 weeks

Milestones & 12 Weeks!

I hit the “magical” 12 week milestone yesterday of pregnancy. What is it with this 12 week mark that makes you feel like you’ve made it over a huge hump?

And speaking of milestones here are some other recent ones to share:

  • I “graduated” from weekly acupuncture appointments to once monthly
  • I officially can no longer button my favorite skinny AG jeans
  • I am being treated as a normal pregnant woman at my OBGYN’s office as everything is progressing well- I haven’t been considered  “normal” at a doctors office in nearly three years!
  • I haven’t thrown up in two days! Could nausea actually be disappearing for good?
  • No more Progesterone shots or Estrace pills!
  • And I actually allowed myself to start looking online at nursery furniture and bedding the other morning and fell in love with this new ruffle bedding from Pottery Barn- adorable right?

ruffle bedding 2

At this time I am just trying to enjoy every moment of my pregnancy, besides the anxiousness that arises every now and then, it’s actually been very easy for me. As I truly love being pregnant and I already feel like it is going by way too fast! I mean 12 weeks already? I’ll be in the second trimester in a blink with even more milestones to list.

Days like this I truly realize how lucky I am to be pregnant given my DOR diagnoses and low odds of conception. I fought going the IVF route for so long and feel so very thankful that we took the leap of faith when we did. It’s scary, as there is so much that is unknown until you actually go through the process and know how your body is going to respond.

I thank the Lord every morning when I wake up and feel my growing belly or see how happy my husband is- knowing that we are finally having our love child.  Lately, I have moments that I just want to wrap up and keep in my heart forever.

These are truly some of the best days of my life.

Xo