I know I know.. I’ve been quiet these past few weeks.
I’ve been processing all that is to come and all that is happening and have felt the need for peace and quiet. I even deleted my Facebook App on my phone, so I could truly be alone in my thoughts with little to no distractions.
Since my last post, another cycle has begun and I found myself drifting into a hibernating mode- a self protection coping mechanism I tend to develop the first week or so of a new cycle. I let myself feel the sadness of another failed cycle and do my best to mentally prepare for what’s to come.
Honestly, for the past few weeks I haven’t felt like doing anything-I haven’t grocery shopped in weeks; instead my dh has been picking up the necessities as my love for cooking has temporarily halted, I’ve recently abandoned my summer garden, and my writing has, well you know, virtually stopped.
But suddenly I have this burst of energy; I want to cook, clean, organize, work in the garden and write to my hearts desire.
So first a well deserved quick update on the latest and greatest and where I am at with my IVF cycle.
• Five years! My DH, J (will begin referring to him like this for now) and I celebrated our five year wedding anniversary a few weekends ago. We spent 24 hours in beautiful Tahoe celebrating us- JUST US- and I truly felt like the luckiest woman in the world. We reminisced about every place we have celebrated our past wedding anniversaries from Sedona Arizona to a beach house in Bodega Bay and decided that we have a pretty darn good life.
• This past school term officially marked the half way point of my Marriage Family Therapy graduate program and I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel
• On top of being overly busy with graduate school work- my day job has been keeping me on my toes as well~ Real Estate has quickly picked up again and I am graciously accepting the rush of clients while trying my hardest to remain as stress free as possible (Both Dr. S and J’s orders)
• J and I completed all of our pre-IVF blood work earlier this week and I am awaiting the results of the fragile X syndrome test (praying all is ok) and also await our “IVF calendar”
• Still avoiding the needles: and in reality the closest we have gotten to “practice” is buying an orange –it sits in our fruit basket taunting us daily…
• Last Saturday I both volunteered and participated in Resolves’ Northern California’s “Walk of Hope” and found out that we raised $57,000! http://www.resolve.org/norcalwalk
• Made my first three acupuncture appointments beginning next week, and planning on continuing through transfer day and throughout the first 12 weeks of pregnancy
• Meanwhile my ‘Fertile” time has opened up again and we are embracing our last go at baby making el natural
• In two weeks or so we will find out if our last “go” resulted in pregnancy or if we will begin our IVF cycle as planned mid October
Feeling really grounded these days,
surrendering to all that is,
and allowing for all that is meant to be…to be.