Thought this would be my lucky cycle; I’m healthy after surgery and polyp free, new fresh energy, spring is here with birds singing and sprouts of new growth everywhere…
Everywhere but inside me.
I really had high hopes, I always do.
I feel sick.
The pit in my stomach is back.
My husband comes home in a few hours and I will have to share the bad news..
See the look of disappointment in his eyes that he so carefully tries to hide from me- then he’ll hug me and tell me how much he loves me and a moment later we’ll both carry on our day like nothing happened. I’ll hide my sadness for a day or two as to avoid him feeling worse.
And in about two weeks we’ll go at it again..and then wait for another two weeks for the outcome and continue this seemingly never-ending cycle of trying to conceive our child.
Tomorrow I’ll go back to being my optimistic, hopeful self.. but today I will sulk and cry and feel a tad bit sorry for myself because I am alone and I can.
Cycle number one post hysteroscopy – Fail.