Two Years Ago Today…

Two years ago today….

I found out I was pregnant with our child.

I still remember watching that second pink line forming and then getting darker and darker.

I could not believe my eyes and immediately my heart started racing and I began to shake.

The immediate joy that I felt upon seeing that second line is indescribable; I still remember the proud look in my dear husband’s eyes when I told him our joyful news after racing down the stairs…Oh… I would do anything to see that look again from him, just one more time.

Two years later, to the day, I sit and reminisce with hot tears rolling down my face. I look up from my desk and see our one and only ultrasound picture placed snuggled amongst other photos on my memoir board.

Yes days like this are bitter sweet.

Sweet because of the fond memory of first finding out that I was pregnant and bitter because I am shook to reality of the reminder that it has been two whole years since my first taste of motherhood.

And still no baby in our arms.

Two…. years.

The longing, heartache, and feelings of loss don’t go away … but today I choose to be happy as I remember the specialness of this date, November thirtieth. Honestly, last year on this day I don’t even think that I could get out of bed, I felt that low. Yes, I have come a long ways on this journey, I still hurt, but today I will smile knowing that I am yet another day closer to our child.

She is close. Very close.

This I know.

~KSS

 

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