This morning I awoke to the sound of Canadian Geese honking (or as I like to call it “singing”) as they moved across the early morning sky… At first I wasn’t so accepting of the loud noise that brought me out of my deep REM and then once I recognized the sound of the geese; a smile crossed over my face. I thought to myself: what a wonderful way to be woken up.
I enjoyed the moment for a few seconds until… reality hit.
I go in tomorrow for a water sonogram. After last weeks’ CD2 ultrasound, my RE wanted to triple check my uterine polyp and decipher what needs to be done. The procedure is, as I was told by my doctor, a combination of both an IUI and HSG. Ok –have experienced them both and I survived.. not a big deal. I was told to take 600-800 mg of IB Profin an hour before the procedure and that I would be just fine…gulp.
I am also awaiting the results of my AMH blood test.
AMH stands for anti-mullerian hormone, a substance produced by granulose cells at the earliest stage of ovarian follicle development. Since the number of these primordial cells is linked to the number of follicles that grow into viable, fertilizable, eggs, Doctors use AMH levels to assess a woman’s remaining egg supply. Because my antafollicle count came back low for my age (4-5 on each ovary) my RE wanted to run some more tests. Not really looking forward to these results…
So far my CD 2 FSH came back high (12.2) and my Estradial came back normal (less than 50) I was told however, despite my immediate hysteria upon finding out my results, not to jump to any conclusions until my AMH results come back.
So that is what I am trying to do…although, I have to admit that I have consulted with Dr. Google for many “what if scenarios” and don’t really feel any better.
It’s times like these that I wish I didn’t have any tests performed.. this journey has taught me that indeed ignorance is bliss.
I also wince at the thought of going through another Christmas without our child. This month I am on cycle number 28…Friends and acquaintances are passing me up by having their second and third children… I found out last week that two friends are pregnant…one who had been trying longer than I and the other not trying at all.
I think that might be the hardest part of this journey.. watching other families grow, while mine stays the same. Seeing pictures of baby bumps turn into newborn babies turn in to growing families while my heart continues to ache.
Two years ago this month we conceived our first baby. For that reason the month of November will always be special to me …I am thankful that I was given the chance to experience being pregnant if only for 9 ½ weeks.. Thankful that I live in a place that allows me to wake up to Canadian Geese signing about their next great journey, reminding me that I too am on a journey myself and to just keep moving forward with the seasons as they do.