Whirlwind is the word that comes to mind as I think about the last few weeks.
Change is happening in my life and I am gladly accepting the movement.
For so long my life has felt like someone had pressed the pause button, and finally a breakthrough has taken place and an enormous rain cloud has lifted from my heart.
I don’t know exactly when it happened, but I feel like myself again, and contribute my growth to the following in no particular order:
Becoming a member of Resolve support group and receiving and giving support from others in my same situation
Being accepted and starting graduate school
Abandoning OPK’s indefinitely
Finishing my intuitive awareness six-week class and learning how to center and ground myself
Accepting the fact that my body does not like fertility drugs and going back to old fashioned love-making for a while
Obtaining a second opinion from a Reproductive Endocrinologist, who besides making me cry, confirmed my DH’s and I’s decision about exploring and considering adoption as opposed to starting IVF(despite the statistic that I have a 66% chance of being pregnant in less than 60 days if I were to start IVF now)
Allowing myself to remember back to a time that I got pregnant naturally and to trust that my body will know what to do again when the time is right
Begin healing work with the Fertile Heart Program
All of these events, some small- some large, have helped me gain better understanding of my path and helped me move through my frustrations, hurt, and pain of still not having a child. I am continuing to trust in our Lord and know without a doubt that I am rising to a new level of growth and loving and appreciating every new day I have.
Today, I am one week into my lovely luteal phase. I am pretty neutral about this cycle, as I found out two weeks ago that I have developed a uterine polyp (Probably from Femara) and according to my RE the chance of an egg and sperm implanting is highly unlikely.
I’ll continue to trust and if it’s meant to be- it will happen.
In the meantime I will give thanks and gratitude to all the change in my life and continue to enjoy the fall blessings all around me!