I had a dream last night.
It was so real- so life like. Not all dreams are created equal, as you know, and normally I don’t give too much after thought about my dreams because by the time that I am fully awake, they are forgotten.
But not this dream. No, I will remember this one forever.
I was pregnant, I gave birth, and I saw my baby.
Cute and little and perfect. Dressed in a pink little onesie.
When the Doctor told me ‘Its’ a girl”, I replied, in a matter of fact way, “then her name will be Juliet”
Of course, there is much more to this dream, but no one likes to hear the ramblings of a long drawn out dream, me being one ot those people, so I just included the important details. Like the fact that I actually named my baby Juliet in my dream.
You see- Juliet is one of my very favorite girl names.
In fact, everyone who is close to me knows this about me. And since I was eighteen years old, have always planned on naming my firstborn girl- Juliet.
We all know that our dreams are a play out of our innermost subconscious and conscious thoughts- and to have a dream, so real and true to my inner most desires- creates a warmth inside me that I cannot describe. I actually awoke with the biggest smile on my face, reaching for my DH so that I could hold him and retell my dream while it was fresh in my mind. He murmured back to me… “Just beautiful, you have beautiful dreams…”
To have a dream of this nature, so life like, at this point of my cycle ( 12 dpiui) is just what my psyche needed. Gives me hope, gives me something to hang on to-So what if it was just a dream. It wasn’t just any dream, it was my Juliet dream. A first for me, and one that I will cherish close to my heart- forever.
Another first for me is that I received my very first daily double email from a website called Sarah’s Laughter- a website and group that offers Christian support for infertility and child loss. Today’s topic discussed the hidden blessing of infertility. The message resonated to my soul, reminding me that through this difficult journey, anything that causes you to seek out God brings blessings to you- any situation that brings you to your knees is good for you as it brings you closer to God. I have been driven to my knees countless times during this long journey. This thoughtful email is a kind reminder that through darkness there is light, to struggle will bring blessings, and at the end of the day God is here within us, our guiding light that will bring us to the other side of infertility one day soon.
I take these two messages to heart today.
This is always a difficult time in my cycle- and it is so easy for me to become discouraged and weak and doubtful.
But today, I will remain strong. Spend some time on my knees, and continue to dream about my baby Juliet…