A Mamma at Last

Our beautiful baby boy was born Tuesday evening at exactly 42 weeks!

I endured a long and slow labor but was able to birth him naturally in the birthing tub and with no complications.

Each moment with him is a dream and being a mom is truly like no other feeling I have ever felt before.

His little sweet face and beautiful blue eyes fill my heart with love and joy and peace like I have never experienced.

Our miracle is in our arms just like I have always envisioned!

We are figuring out life with this new little soul but promise to post our beautiful birth story soon!

41 Weeks plus 5 days & Trying Just Everything!

Our second NST was a success this past Friday in that baby is happy and healthy, however I decided against having my membranes swept and instead opted for my first internal check.

Oh my goodness and wow did that hurt!

And all the pain for nothing as the doctor couldn’t tell me anything as my cervix was too high and the exam was causing me so much pain.. uggg! Then she left the room for a moment, came back in seconds later to wish us good luck and tell us our next appointment would be bright and early at 8 am Tuesday morning at the birthing center for our induction.

Gahhh! That did it… The “I ” word… I lost it!

Even before my appointment I was an emotional wreck, but after finding out the next step medically was induction I about lost my mind. Literally could not catch my breath crying uncontrollably for the rest of the day! I felt defeated- like I did everything I could to get pregnant, then everything I could to support a healthy baby during this pregnancy and now I was scrambling to do everything i could to get him to come out because I’m nearing 42 week deadline!

Once again I find myself in a predicament and am researching and trying natural methods before medical intervention takes place. I’ve been walking like crazy, eating dates, drinking red raspberry leaf tea, taking EPO, bouncing on my birth ball, sex, nipple stimulation ( even tried out my breast pump!), and of course talking to baby boy, praying, and meditating…it’s now Sunday morning at 4:30 am and no contractions what so ever!

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some successful contractions this past week, and a few strong ones-but nothing consistent enough to begin labor.

Tomorrow Ill try acupuncture and if nothing still within 48 hours from now I will prepare myself mentally for a successful induction that allows me to birth our miracle child( the one in my dreams and now in my womb, our child of God) safely in our arms and nothing less.

41 Weeks & Yes… I am”Still” Pregnant

 

 

Our baby must have received the memo loud and clear that I really have loved being pregnant…as today I sit at 41 weeks and 2 days and still no sign of baby’s arrival.

Every morning I wake up and feel like I am living a dream of some sort baffled that I am still pregnant! Don’t get me wrong, hubby and I have been taking full advantage of this time together and all feels wonderful- yet it’s like time has stopped waiting for baby’s arrival. We’ve been having coffee talk in the mornings, taking long walks with our two mutts, and going out to eat enjoying just the two of us.

We feel as ready as can be knowing darn well we have no idea what to expect until our baby boy is in our arms… we keep talking about what he will look like, what his cry will sound like – how it will feel being sleep deprived and pacing the halls of our home with a newborn…all this wonder and splendor of a new little being that we are so blessed to be bringing into this world.

For so long I was worried that I would deliver premature and now the jokes on me as have switched gears and now I am worried that I will need to be induced!

 

Two days ago I went in for my first NST (Non-Stress-Test) and I was hooked up to a machine that allowed us to listen and see baby’s’ heart rate for a full twenty minutes. According to our nurse, little one’s heart rate was measuring “text book perfect” so we passed with flying colors there.

 

The other area they check is amniotic fluid levels via an ultrasound and my level was more than abundant, so although there aren’t any concerns medically, per hospital protocol -we will be induced this coming Tuesday 8/19.

The doctors have offered to check me for dilation at my last two appointments but I kindly told them “no thank you”. I know most women would want to know if they are dilated especially this late in pregnancy, but I would just rather them stay away for as long as possible, plus I don’t want to find out I am at a zero and feel defeated.

However, as I sip my raspberry leaf tea this evening I may be starting to sing a different tune. As I look at puffy face in the mirror and slather even more lotion and oil over my taught itchy belly I am reconsidering being checked for dilation at tomorrows’ NST #2 appointment and depending on where I am measuring, possibly having my membranes stripped in attempts to get this party started. I am caught in a balancing act of trusting my body and baby and being required to follow hospital protocol.

Induction is looming and will be happening at the 42 week mark (5 more days) whether I like it or not.

Praying with all my might that my baby makes his debut before the big guns come out!

Come on baby boy…we are all waiting for you!

40 Weeks Plus 3 Days & When Will Baby Make His Debut?

So our estimated due date of 8/5 has come and gone and now I am sitting idle awaiting labor to start.

I had thought all along that I would give birth today on 8/8 which was our first babys’ estimated due date three years ago today and a very special day that I will always hold dear to my heart.

As of today no serious contractions, no lost mucus plug, no water breaking- only a very pregnant me!

Yesterday I was cleaning windows and screens, doing laundry, scrubbing toilets, vacuuming and so on thinking it may be just what my body needed. Yet all those activities just made me tired and very hungry!

At our appointment this past Wednesday our midwife explained that the next step is to come in on 8/12 for a non stress test and check everything carefully with the MD. She also explained that they will not medically induce until 8/19! Oh my goodness…that seems way too far away to wait!

Yet, waiting is nothing new for us, we have waited for our little one for so long (Four years since first trying to conceive) so I am very good at waiting, but honestly these past few days have crawled at a snail’s pace.

I have to gently remind myself that my body and baby are in charge of when labor will begin, not me.

Continue to keep you posted…

Love,

Momma-to-be

39 Weeks & Nursery Reveal

So today I am officially 39 weeks and 6 days.

I have this surreal feeling that I cannot describe, almost as if I have taken a valium and am completely calm and relaxed permanently.

I keep visualizing my labor and birth and meeting baby R for the first time.

I have been waiting for this for so very long and my everything waits in lovely anticipation. Every kick and movement I feel brings me so much love and makes me feel closer to my son. This last part of pregnancy has been amazing and I feel so connected to my husband and everything just feels right.

Not going to do my usual update this week and instead will reveal our nursery, I feel the room turned out perfect and has a little mix of old and new that will be a very special place for our son. Hard to believe that this empty room that I used to lay on the floor and cry in mourning is now my dream nursery where I can nurse, love, sing to, and soothe my baby boy.

Dreams do come true.

Enjoy!

Will post again after my 40 Week appointment with the midwife unless baby makes his debut first!

 

38 Weeks & Ready to Meet Our Son

How far along: 38 Weeks and 5 days

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Currently 138 pounds, up 33 pounds.

Maternity clothes: Oh yes, but mostly dresses in this 100 degree heat wave

Stretch marks: Remarkably no and praying I stay that way!

Sleep: Yes, I am sleeping all the time. Most of the time a nap or two a day plus at least 8-9 hours a night. Although the bathroom trips are becoming like clockwork every 2-3 hours during the night, preparing me for nightly feedings!

Best moment last week: Realizing that I am full term and can have this baby boy at any moment! He is currently head down and in perfect position for birth.

Movement: Baby boy is slowing down a bit, but still moving- and I have been ordered to do my kick counts at least once a day (10 movements during a 2 hour period) apparently the placenta can get old and movement is important as it tells us baby is receiving enough oxygen. ps: I love when he has hiccups!

Food cravings/Aversions: Watermelon, waffles with fresh berries, yogurt, coffee ice cream with Hershey’s syrup, ummm pretty much loving everything these days but the above mentioned are my favorites at the moment.

Mood/Energy: So very happy, a bit emotional at times but in a good sappy kind of way. Just reminiscing about the last 9 months and our journey to have this baby and realizing that hubby and I become a family of three any day. Energy- a bit tired especially because my iron has been low, don’t think I will get the big rush of energy before birth that everyone talks about!

Labor signs: No- still experiencing Braxton Hicks but nothing major.

Belly button: Out

What I miss: My hands and fingers working properly! I have had tingly  finger tips in my right hand for weeks now  and  haven’t been able to clench my fists, apparently I am experiencing a weird pregnancy related blood flow issue to my hands.

What I am looking forward to: Birth and meeting our son!

Milestones: Full Term Baby! We are ready.

(Me at 38 Weeks and 1 day)

36 Weeks and Packing the Hospital Bag!

 

How far along: 36 Weeks and 3 days

 Total Weight Gain/Loss: Current weight 137 lbs, officially up 32 pounds!

Maternity clothes: Most of the time yes, and wearing dresses nearly every day!

Stretch marks: Not yet.. the nurse even commented at my last appointment her surprise that I don’t have any yet…I told her it’s a blessing as I still have stretch mark scars from puberty.

Sleep: Oh yes! Naps are a once or twice daily occurrence for me. The exhaustion sweeps over me like a tidal wave and I can’t keep my eyes open. After a nap I feel like a million dollars!

Best moment last week: 4^th of July with my siblings! This year all five of my amazing brothers and sisters were together in my home and I had the most wonderful day! It is rare for us all to get together and now my home is filled with special memories I will cherish forever.

Movement: Yes! Baby boy has been moving like crazy- especially at night, my bump looks so strange when he is moving and I always stare in awe and amazement.

Food cravings/Aversions: Still loving food, specifically fresh well made food. Fruit has been a huge part of my diet lately, along with fresh tomatoes from my garden. 3 varieties so far! Yummm!

 Mood/Energy: Mood has been wonderful as I near the end of this pregnancy, a little emotional here and there just thinking about our infertility journey that has brought us to this point. Two summers ago was when I started this blog, a saving grace to the isolation and depression I was experiencing. And  just last summer we were consulting with our doctor and making the big  decision about pursuing IVF and here I sit a year later writing about my 36^th week of pregnancy. Feeling so full and blessed and enjoying every precious moment left of this pregnancy.

 Labor signs: Well let’s just say that earlier this week I spent one whole day on the couch due to major pressure down low and even started to pack my hospital bag (just in case) …thankfully, according to the MD I saw at my appointment two days later, after said “pressure”,  I am experiencing something called lightening and this  is completely normal during this stage of pregnancy. Baby is getting ready! 

 Oh and Still measuring on schedule, blood pressure is normal, and baby is head down. Yay!

Belly button: Starting to pop!

What I miss: Nada

What I am looking forward to: Meeting our son.

Milestones: 36 weeks! And getting the strep B test done… Ouchy & why didn’t anyone forewarn me?

 And lastly a bump picture taken at 36 weeks 1 day:

34 Weeks & Surrounded by Pink Peonies

How far along: 34 Weeks Today!

Total Weight Gain/Loss: At my appointment last week I weighed 132 lbs.

Maternity clothes: Yes and living in dresses at the moment.

Stretch marks: Not yet..and nearly out of my special belly oil.

Sleep: Oh yes and very deep sleep lately, still waking up to go to the bathroom, but finally able to sleep in past 6:00 am.

Best moment last week: My baby shower! Oh my goodness, it was a dream. Truly- my sister outdid herself!  I was not only  surrouned by friends and family who supported me during my struggle with infertility but also pink peonies (my very favorite flower) and everything was truly stunning, no detail was overlooked! This baby is already loved by so many and my heart warms at all of the love we received at the shower.

(Here are a few photos of the lovlieness and I am still enjoying the flowers as you can see!)

Movement: All the time! And at my last prenatal appointment last week, I was told that baby is already head down and will probably stay that way until birth!

Food cravings/Aversions: Loving all food lately! Mostly fresh vegetables and fruit! Trying to up my protein intake and eating more eggs now that I have my kitchen back!

Mood/Energy: Slowing down and napping again. A few friends told me I would get a second energy burst towards the last few weeks, and boy am I going to need it as I need to not only get my little one’s nursery in order but my entire house!

Labor signs: No, but I did have a little scare last week and called my mom to ask her what labor felt like. I could barely walk and had so much pressure down “there” that I thought I was having contractions. I think I just needed rest and went to bed early and woke up feeling much better!

Belly Button : Stretched and odd looking.

What I miss: Nothing! Feeling content and savoring every last moment of being pregnant.

What I am looking forward to: Putting babys’ nursery and wardrobe together!

Milestones: 34 weeks today, taking the hospital tour, beginning birth classes…finally feeling like I can relax and really start nesting.

ps: my mini home remodel is officially complete! Turned out beautiful and will post pictures soon!

And last but not least, me at 34 weeks pregnant!

32 Weeks and Taking a Peaceful Breath

Oh my goodness- it’s been a long time! This past month has flown by and I cannot believe I haven’t posted in 4 whole weeks! Below is my most recent update along with some photos to share with you of what I have been up to lately!

 How far along: 32 Weeks and 4 days

 Total Weight Gain/Loss: Since 27 Weeks I have gained another 6 pounds so 131 lbs.

Maternity clothes: Oh yes. I ventured into Pea in the Pod and Motherhood for the first time the other day and came out with three new dresses and two really soft tank tops.

Stretch marks: Not yet- but my tummy is full of blue veins.

Sleep: Better. Sleeping really deep lately, and literally fall asleep the minute my head touches the pillow. Still waking up early, but getting used to that and finding that early morning between 5:30-6:30 am is my favorite time of day.

Best moment last week: Finally buying my crib! (Thank you Mom!) I chose the Catalina from PBK and I am so relieved I have a crib sitting in my garage waiting to be put together – yay!

Movement: Like crazy! This little one moves quite a bit and last week I either saw a foot or a hand poking through and it was the cutest thing ever! Actually the site surprised me and of course I got emotional and started crying.

(Growing a baby is simply amazing! )

Food cravings/Aversions: Good bye aversions – hello cravings and the ultimate love of food. Oh my goodness, everything tastes so delicious these days, and I am so happy that we have summer fruit galore; watermelons, grapes, strawberries, juicy nectarines- yum. Now I am just eyeing my green tomatoes growing in my garden and cannot wait to make tomato sandwiches once they have vine ripened. (English muffin, mayo, tomato, and salt) mmmmm and a little avocado and red onion wouldn’t hurt either!

 Mood/Energy: Slowing down finally, but my nesting has kicked into full gear. As we are nearing the end of our mini home remodel project, I have the organization and cleaning bug and thank goodness lots of energy. Looking forward to putting my home back together in the next few weeks before baby’s arrival.

Labor signs: Nope –just good ol’ Braxton Hicks- as my uterus is preparing.

Belly button: Stretched and odd looking.

 What I miss: Nothing at the moment- super content and happy!

What I am looking forward to: Starting my hypnobirthing classes, next ultrasound, hospital tour, putting my nursery together, and my baby shower next weekend! Below is an example of my baby shower invitation-although mine is so much cuter!  How adorable is this:

 

 

Milestones: 32 Weeks baby & the last trimester! Countdown is officially on and  according to my midwife I have 6-10 weeks to go until we meet our miracle baby!

And lately:

Laguna Beach mini vacation with my sister and brother in law, me at 31 Weeks, my adorable pups, and my new ‘sea pearl’ quartzite counter tops!

27 Weeks and Mini Home Remodel, Getting Sick and Mother’s Day

Home Remodel: First off-who begins a mini home remodel project at 27 weeks pregnant? This girl! It all began with the idea of painting bedrooms and installing new flooring and quickly turned into changing and replacing windows, installing new countertops, and updating appliances in my kitchen. (Goodbye 90’s white tile and carpenter beige paint!) My timeline is to have everything completed by the middle of June and before my baby shower. Pinterest has officially become my best friend as of late and has helped me in so many ways with our project.

 

Inspiration kitchen photo number 1:

 

Getting Sick: It finally happened. My worst fear during pregnancy- I got sick.

 

Last week after two days of a Maternal Wellness Seminar I attended for work, I knew I pushed myself too far. I was hoping the sneezing and constant eye watering was an indication of my allergies acting up, only to find myself in bed and on the couch for two straight days  with a nasty head cold. Luckily I am recuperating and beginning to feel myself again, but I was miserable there for a few days and being that I was pregnant I didn’t want to take any medications. I gave in and finally took two Tylenol for my aching head out of pure desperation. My take away now that I am on the mend: rest often and do not push yourself.

 

Mothers Day 2014: So many different thoughts about this day. For years this has been by far my worst celebrated holiday of the year. Infertility will do that to you…even though I knew in my heart that I would be a mother one day (one way or another) this day always seemed to tear me up inside. This Mothers Day I celebrated with J and our friends and their two young boys and the day was such a blessing. Not only was J so very attentive to me and showering me with kisses and whatever I needed, but I welcomed for the first time, friends, family and perfect strangers wishing me a happy Mother’s Day as well. I realized that I will soon be called mom, momma, or mommy and this just fills my heart so. I’ve dreamt of this reality of motherhood for so very long and its close.

I wonder what kind of mother I will be? I think of my own mother and how I was raised. I believe I will be kind, patient, caring, affectionate, protective, humorous, gentle, and loving. My emotions were all over the map last week and I especially felt super weepy on Mother’s Day as I reflect on my journey up to this point.

Last year I laid on the couch all morning with the shades drawn shut- isolating myself from the world and even from my own mother… and only but one year later I am approaching my last trimester of pregnancy embracing the beautiful reality of finally becoming a mother.

My take away of this: No matter if you have a child or not, we are all mothers. We were born mothers in some capacity, and we express our motherly selves in a variety of ways. Acknowledging this is a must, especially for those of us who struggle the most with this celebrated day.

And my update…

How far along: 27 Weeks and 6 days

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 125.5 lbs-up a pound from last week.

Maternity clothes: Oh yes, pretty much wearing my maternity leggings or a dress on rotation. If you happen to see me more than once during the week, I’ll likely be in one of these two staple items. Stretch marks: Not yet.. But I am scared they are coming…Belly is growing so big!

Sleep: Being that I am typing this at 4:00 am, I have to admit that I have been waking up very early in the morning. However to my defense, I often go to bed by 9:00 and get in an hour or so nap during the afternoon if I can.

Best moment last week: Not being depressed and crying on Mother’s Day for the first time in years. Experiencing joy of becoming a mother to our miracle baby. Spending time with my hubby at one of our favorite places-Lake Tahoe.

Movement: Oh yes..Little one is super active at night and still his movement has been one of my very favorite moments of pregnancy.

Food cravings/Aversions: Oh boy… lets see this past week I have been wanting to eat everything! It seems like anytime someone mentions a food category, I suddenly crave whatever it may be. (English muffins with peanut butter have been another staple item)

Mood/Energy: For the most part I have maintained energy and can go for most of the day even with bouts of insomnia that I have been experiencing, although as I noted above, I pushed myself the week before and I suffered dearly for it by getting sick.

Labor signs: Not yet! Hoping we make it until August!

Belly button: Top part is beginning to push out some and last week every time I sneezed or coughed I thought it might rupture.

What I miss: Sleeping through the night.

What I am looking forward to: Slowing down with work, putting the nursery together, and beginning birthing classes.

Milestones: Thankful for getting through the second trimester without a hitch!